Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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