YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
