Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize