I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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