Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize