i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
