have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
