This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
