i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
