Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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