Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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