fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
foreskin is a definite game changer
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
