those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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