Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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