this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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