do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
