you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
