Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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