Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
