Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
