The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
