The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
