you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
