I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
