Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
