well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
