How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize