Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
