Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
