Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
