Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize