Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
