I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
