U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize