Walk of Shame. In a state park.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
