How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
