Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
