try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
