I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize