I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize