You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
