Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize