In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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