Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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