dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
