im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
