Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
