therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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