I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
