Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
