We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
