I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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