They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize