So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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