i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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