just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
