It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
