I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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