don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
