We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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