she smelled like a LAN party
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had to cum in my sink.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
