Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
