I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
