Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
